I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
