Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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