So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
