did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Your penis caused this!
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