this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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