The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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