Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
