so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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