dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
