At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
