She's JV to your varsity
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
