just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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