don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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