I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
