Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
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