i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Randomize
