she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
