I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
