You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
that's an acceptable place to lick
My cat gives me a boner
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
