U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
