somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Randomize
