I need help removing her.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
