Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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