K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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