Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
