I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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