Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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