I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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