shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
