so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
We had sex on a dog bed..
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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