I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
