i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
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