So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Boobs speak an international language.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
