But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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