I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
