Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
