she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You can't just leave with hair like that
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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