I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
