She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
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