I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
