her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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