Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Randomize
