so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We left the knife in your bed.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
