Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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