wakey wakey hands off snakey
I think i peed on brittanys purse
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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