Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
