Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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