i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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