I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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