my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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