New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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